I feel like I'm tired

I feel like I'm tired
tired of the dope
tired of being broke
tired of my brakes scraping down the road
tired of the cold
tired of not having any fun
tired of thinking about growing old
tired of being nagged at
tired of this fucking bear trap
tied around my ankle like I'm some
kind of broke down circus act
tired of being cheap
tired of reapplying for ebt
tired of my girlfriends always leaving me
tired of this disease
tired of being neglected of all my needs
tired of getting skinny
tired of not being able to eat
tired of not being able to do my fucking laundry
tired of applying myself to the interviews only to get
hired and fired the same day, and again week after week
tired of not being able to stand on my own two fucking feet
and despite all of my complaing,
what I am really most tired of .. is that I am
tired of always having to take tylenol pm to fall asleep
and even more so..
tired that the back up plan to that, as if its not enough, is that I'm
tired of taking 9 more miligrams of melatonin and counting sheep
I feel like I'm tired of everything but still lay in bed
awake every night for hours until I dope myself and rest
I feel like I'm tired of this shit, but can't get any sleep