and if i could live

and if i could climb a mountain
i would probably find a way to
fall back down it.
and if i could jump from a building
i would probably have a heart
attack before i hit the pavement.
and if i could fly
i would probably just lay
there grounded.
and if i could swim across the ocean
i would probably drown from
all the alcohol around me.
and if i could love you
i would probably die trying
before i found you.
because my heart stopped working
and my head wont stop pounding.